EX-GROWERS OF GREED: How Michigan Dispensary Timber Cannabis Fucked Their Own Workers

Kyle Kurtz
6 days ago
3 min read

Timber Cannabis, the Michigan-born dispensary brand that looks like a co-working space, just settled a $205,000 lawsuit for wage theft—specifically, for jacking their own employees’ tips and pretending it was part of the business model.

This wasn’t one rogue manager pocketing a few bucks. This was a full-blown institutionalized side hustle, baked into the operation like shitty disty oil in an overpriced “craft” cart.

In public? Timber says they "uplift communities."Behind closed doors? They uplifted the fucking cash drawer.

TIP THEFT AS A SERVICE

Let’s be clear. This wasn’t a rounding error. This wasn’t some clumsy Venmo mix-up. Timber Cannabis actively withheld tips that customers left for frontline budtenders—most of whom were making poverty wages in between being screamed at by soccer moms who “don’t want anything too strong.”

The company allegedly pooled and “redistributed” tips into payroll accounts to cover other costs—like delivery reimbursements and POS subscription fees. One former employee claims they were told it was “just easier” that way.

“I asked where my tips went and they said ‘into the vibe.’ I got written up a week later.”

Multiple locations, same scheme. Same script. Same limp-ass apology statement when it all came crashing down.

CRAFT CORPORATE CRIMES

Timber isn’t some national MSO with hedge fund backing. They're not Verano. They're worse. Because they’re local, they’re boutique, they’re the “friendly face of legalization” with just enough polish to fool your aunt on Facebook.

Think succulent walls, not product integrity.
Barista-core interiors, not brand standards.
They sell “hand-curated flower” while their own staff got robbed for lunch money.

Their stores look like a Pinterest board about gentrified weed. Every inch of branding is curated to say, "Trust us. We're the good guys." Until payday.

THE ‘SOCIAL EQUITY’ LARP

Timber loves to use words like “empower,” “reinvest,” and “community.” What they don’t mention is how their actual economic model relied on underpaying staff and quietly eating their tips like trail mix.

This is the scam hiding inside “progressive cannabis.”The feel-good lingo, the wooden countertops, the employee photo ops—all window dressing for a company that grifted its way through payroll.

“Our values are rooted in transparency,” said Timber’s press release. Translation: “We’re sorry we got caught and fuck you.”

This isn’t a glitch. This is the software. The cannabis industry is filled with faux-bespoke retailers selling $42 eighths and treating their hourly employees like landfill.

LICENSED TO SKIM

Michigan’s regulatory body, the Cannabis Regulatory Agency (CRA), hasn’t said much. Because they never do. Enforcement in this industry is like Santa Claus—technically it exists, but only for children and snitches.

Where was the audit? Where was the license review? Where was the labor protection clause in that application packet that cost more than a semester at community college?

If someone lied about a moldy batch of distillate, the state would shut them down in five minutes.

But stealing $200K from employees? That just gets a “be better” letter and a note in the file.

THE BOOF INDEX BREAKDOWN

Boof Score: 81.6%
Employee Trust Rating: -12 stars
Quote Credibility: “Our team is our biggest asset” (followed by a middle finger in QuickBooks)
Projected Turnover: All of them. Everyone’s gone. Don’t even check.

Timber’s estimated valuation? Who gives a fuck.You can’t IPO a brand built on unpaid labor and passive-aggressive Slack messages.

THE COST OF CONNING YOUR CREW

There’s something especially gross about cannabis companies fucking over their own staff.

This isn’t banking. It’s not retail. It’s not Wall Street. Cannabis was supposed to be different. We bled for this industry. We risked shit. We stood on the street corner and handed out eighths when your COO was still selling cold brew in Portland.

Now the people who kept your dispensary alive during COVID are the first to get docked, scolded, and discarded.

“We value every member of the Timber family,” says the boilerplate statement. Yeah? Then why’d you rob them blind, Chad?

BOOF RECOMMENDS:

Mandatory third-party tip audits for all licensed operators
License forfeiture for any company caught stealing labor
Public wall of shame where offenders are listed next to their Yelp rating
A new license classification: “C.R.A.P.” — Cannabis Retailers Actively Pilfering