Licenses

If you’ve ever run craps out of a basement while high, congratulations—you’re now eligible for a Vegas weed casino license.

ATCC raids weed shops for not having licenses. Weed shops shocked to learn they needed one.

State Officials Celebrate Historic Labor Win by Taking Credit and Leaving Early

Missouri Accidentally Conducts Controlled Study on How to Kill a Cannabis Market Before It Starts

Finally, a Dispensary That Feels Like Jury Duty

Rewarding snitching with store credit—brought to you by people who’ve never been to a sesh.

Where ‘Transparency’ Means ‘We Livestreamed the Grift’

Test Results May Vary—But Only Upward.

In a bold regulatory move, officials confirm THC is only safe when delivered via neon bears, sour worms, or chewy dismembered limbs—anything adult-looking will be met with fines and confusion.

It’s not summer in Missouri until the admin hold hits and your whole supply chain gets ghosted by the state.

Wearing his branded fleece and a thousand-yard stare, the exec rang up Delta-8 and mushroom gummies for seven hours before realizing the smell of ambition had been replaced by Axe body spray and broken dreams.

Officials blamed the error on a “clerical oversight,” though witnesses say the dog made three successful deliveries, applied for a loan, and attended two city council meetings before anyone asked questions.

After months of suspicious behavior and zero recordkeeping, regulators finally acted—moments after overhearing the owner ask if “Compliance OG” was indica or sativa.

Citing “low barriers to entry” and “vibes,” the state issued credentials to a man seen zipping down I-70 with flower, edibles, and what might’ve been his lunch—all in the same Panda Express takeout bag.

Touted as a “celebration of opportunity,” the event featured twelve grueling events, zero follow-up support, and one lucky applicant who’ll be allowed to operate a delivery route through a pothole-ridden war zone—until Q4.

While hundreds wait in regulatory limbo, one well-timed backswing and a whisper on the 9th tee was all it took to move paperwork no one else got to see.

To ensure maximum safety and zero adult appeal, state officials now require all weed packaging to pass a panel of fourth graders armed with crayons, juice boxes, and no sense of irony.

Licenses remain legally transferred. Morals remain legally missing.

After losing nearly a billion and pivoting for the seventh time this quarter, Tilray secures a federal hall pass to become the LaCroix of weed—minus the flavor, plan, or demand.

After months of community input, task forces, and well-catered meetings, Minnesota unveils a licensing process so convoluted it requires legal counsel, spiritual guidance, and three separate browser tabs to survive.