CBD, Lies, and RICO Charges: Medical Marijuana Inc. May Have Just Snorted the First Domino

By the Boof du Jour Investigative Division, Pissed Off and Fully Medicated

SAN DIEGO, CA — It’s a tale as old as weed: slap a label on some snake oil, scream “zero THC,” cash in on the wellness crowd, and pray no one pisses hot. That’s been the business model of Medical Marijuana Inc., the self-declared “first publicly traded cannabis company in the U.S.,” a title that now reads like a crime scene trophy.

Unfortunately for them—and hilariously for us—one of those supposedly THC-free tinctures has triggered a federal RICO lawsuit that the Supreme Court just ruled can proceed. That’s right. A CBD company might get whacked under the same statute they use to take down mafias and biker gangs.

And the crime? Lying. Badly. About THC. In a fucking CBD bottle.

The Truck Driver vs. the “Health Revolution”

The plaintiff, Douglas Horn, was a commercial truck driver—a real one, not the kind that delivers ounces to head shops out of a Honda Civic. He used Dixie X, a CBD tincture sold by Medical Marijuana Inc. and branded under the subsidiary Dixie Botanicals, to manage pain from a previous accident.

The product said it was THC-free. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Horn lost his job after failing a drug test, and when he had the product tested, it was positive for—you guessed it—THC, the very thing the bottle swore it didn’t contain.Now, he’s suing under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act, better known as RICO—aka the legal equivalent of a sledgehammer. And last month, the U.S. Supreme Court said: Yep. Let it ride.

“ZERO THC” — A Lie So Big, You Need a Lab Coat to Deliver It

Let’s be clear: this isn’t a case of accidental contamination. This is a company whose entire fucking marketing platform was built on labeling products as THC-free and selling them to people with real-world consequences for THC exposure—like, you know, a federally regulated trucking job.

Boof du Jour obtained (okay, fabricated) a leaked internal memo from MMJ Inc. that read: “The labels are aspirational. If we believe it’s THC-free, is it not also spiritually THC-free?”

One former employee told us anonymously, “Testing was more of a vibe check than a scientific process. If the lab tech didn’t cough, we greenlit the batch.”

Another source claimed the only consistency across products was “the color of the cap and the lack of accountability.”

The Boofonomics of Lying to Your Own Customers

Medical Marijuana Inc. has spent the last decade billing itself as an “industry pioneer,” which in this case translates to first to get sued under a RICO statute for selling mislabeled CBD to a guy who actually got drug-tested.

This is the corporate equivalent of:

• Selling NyQuil and calling it wine

• Putting “gluten-free” on a loaf of Wonder Bread

• Running a lemonade stand where the secret ingredient is vodka
  

And let’s not forget the deep irony that the same federal government that still classifies cannabis as Schedule I is now watching a legal cannabis company get sued with the same weapons they use on street gangs.

Call it poetic. Call it justice. Call it what it is:The dumbest possible way to enter the Supreme Court history books.

Industry Panic: “Wait, We’re Liable for Our Labels?”

Since the ruling, white-collar panic has rippled across the CBD and wellness supplement world. Entire Slack channels are now filled with questions like:

• “Do we actually have to test now?”

• “Is it still ‘full spectrum’ if we just guess?”

• “Can we trademark the word ‘trace’? Like legally?”

  
  

It’s no exaggeration to say this case could blow the lid off the entire soft-regulated supplement sector, where companies put “0.000% THC” on the front label and hope nobody flips the bottle over.

If Horn wins—and the RICO charges hold—it opens the floodgates for anyone who lost a job, a license, or a child custody hearing after trusting a “CBD Only” product that was actually THC soup in a tinted bottle.

Meet Medical Marijuana Inc.: The OG of Overselling

Let’s remember who we’re dealing with here. MMJ Inc. has made bold claims for years. You’ll still find press releases on their site bragging about things like:

• “Pioneering CBD sales in Brazil”

• “Delivering hemp oil to pediatric epilepsy patients”

• “Being the first cannabis company on the stock market”
  

What they don’t brag about:

• Making millions off mislabeled products

• Tanking shareholder trust faster than a crypto rugpull

• Being named in a RICO suit for being full of shit
  

Final Hit

This case won’t just be about one truck driver and one sketchy bottle. It’s about whether companies like MMJ Inc. can get away with pushing bunk products under the illusion of legality, hiding behind lab reports that nobody reads, and labels designed by interns with Canva Pro.

They say weed legalizes like water—it follows the path of least resistance.But this lawsuit might just dam the fucking river.

Boof du Jour will be watching.So should every CEO who ever put “Zero THC” on a bottle without testing it first.